4 Renewed Ways of Communicating
It was only relatively recently that Jakob informed me about something he found strange during the first months of our relationship. I was six hours behind him in Toronto and so to ensure we’d have ample time to fill one another in on the details of our days, we would schedule in our phone or video calls. This usually came in the form of “Let’s talk tomorrow before you go to work and after I’ve seen so and so” or “Will you be free if I call you in fifteen minutes?”
What he expressed to have found strange was the necessity of scheduling in our phone calls. Why didn’t we just pick up the phone and give one another a call when we felt like it?
I’ve been reflecting on that and on the way that communication has shifted in recent years - and, how some of these shifts have likely had a negative impact on our relationships and sense of connection. With more and more dialogues having been moved to the realm of text and email, we seem to have lost some of the intimacy that comes with real-time conversations. Furthermore, the difficulty in seeing the people we love face-to-face due to the pandemic seems to have created a spike in loneliness and a decrease in meaningful connection.
On top of it all, most of us are tired of texting. We’re tired of emailing. Messages are left unanswered and even if we were to answer them, we’re not quite sure how to say we’re exhausted. How to say we’re fed up. How to say we’ve really not been doing so great amidst the weight of this past year.
So with that all of that in mind, I wanted to share four simple suggestions for renewed ways of communicating. These suggestions aren’t anything new and they’re nothing extraordinary. They are simply reminders that there are alternative ways to communicate with our loved ones in these modern times:
Pick up the phone. Don’t wait for an appointment to call.
We do not need to schedule in our phone calls. I’m not sure when that became the new norm, but I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that it is. If someone comes to your mind, give them a call. They may not answer, but if they do, you’ll both be gifted with a spontaneous opportunity to reconnect.
Send a letter of gratitude.
Some time ago I received a letter of gratitude from my friend Jes. I believe she was doing some type of gratitude challenge and so she reached out to let me know how much I meant to her. How often do we give or receive that type of special gift? It costs nothing and yet it has infinite value.
Reach out. Ask for help.
If we are struggling (as many of us are), we do not have to wait for a chance interaction to share what we’ve been going through. Call to mind someone you love and trust. Is it possible for you to reach out to them and let them know you’re going through a tough time? After all, none of us are in this alone.
Respond to a message that’s awaiting a response.
If you’re tired of emailing and texting, I get it. Responding to personal messages and work or client emails can be overwhelming. However, it’s often the mind that makes the writing back exhausting. It’s some kind of mental barrier. If a friend, colleague, or loved one is awaiting a response to you, consider taking a deep breath and sending them a note - even if it’s to say that you’ll message back in full later. It will help both you and them to feel connected.
By drawing mindfulness to how we are communicating (or not communicating), we are likely to become aware of the ways in which we are not supporting our relationships or our own wellbeing. We do not have to be perfect at it, but since this world would not exist if it were not for relationship and infinite modes of communication, it’s undoubtedly worth exploring.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash